Navigating Personal Growth Through the Art of Self-Care and Reflection
My personal journey of self-care has been a long road! From being diagnosed with anorexia at 15, to losing my Mum at 29. I recount the steps I’ve taken along this winding path, learning to nurture my own well-being, finding strength in vulnerability and ultimately weaving a tapestry of resilience and growth.
Being diagnosed with anorexia at 15 was not something that I took too well. Whilst I wasn’t happy with myself during this time, I didn’t believe that this was true as I wasn’t actively seeking to lose weight. One day I just started getting sick and it continued for a number of weeks. My Mum took me to the GP who tried several avenues to get me ‘fixed’ to no avail. He eventually referred me to see a Consultant. After 6 months of ongoing tests and therapy they diagnosed me with anorexia and said I had a mental health issue.
They couldn’t find a medical reason for the loss in weight. I was stubborn though and wanted to find out the real reason! Guess what! I wasn’t suffering from a mental health issue! It turned out to be an extreme intolerance to tomatoes. My favourite meal at the time when I started to get sick was Spaghetti Bolognese! I can safely say that the misdiagnosis of anorexia spiralled me into a world I couldn’t comprehend at 15. I started to believe that there was something wrong with me!
Whilst the process of being diagnosed with anorexia was a hard path and the start to a good lesson in self-care for me, my hardest battle was yet to come.
In the quiet corners of my heart, that toughest journey began over fourteen years ago in 2009! A journey that intertwined the profound loss of my mother with the anticipation of bringing new life into the world. I was 8 months pregnant with my first child when I lost my Mum in a car accident. I tried to navigate the depths of grief while carrying the weight of impending motherhood.
It was a profoundly difficult journey (even as I write this I am consumed with overpowering grief). I was so broken and devastated. My Mum was my rock. She had worked as a nurse in the hospital where I gave birth. All the nurses thought that telling me how great my Mum was and how much she was missed by them was somehow helpful. It destroyed me and shattered my world! It took me years to understand the legacy my Mum had left behind as they still talk about her today!
For the next two years, I ‘just existed’! The pain and sorrow of bereavement is supposed to get easier to bear as time passes. Whilst the pain never goes away it does get a little easier. For me this wasn’t until I discovered the transformative power of self-care which was a beacon of light in my darkest moments. At this point I was expecting my second child and needed to look after myself better.
Remembering my Mum’s legacy in the shadow of loss, I unearthed the gems of wisdom and love that my mother left behind. Her memory became a guiding force, propelling me toward a future where her essence thrives in my actions, my choices and my aspirations.
Navigating the rollercoaster of emotions was a daunting task, but it was here that I began to grasp the importance of self-care as a lifeline connecting my past and my future.
I undertook a mission to prioritise my own well-being. From carving out moments of solitude to seeking solace in creative outlets, I delved into the world of self-care, discovering the profound impact it could have on my healing journey. With every step forward, I unravelled the layers of resilience that had been woven into the fabric of my being. The journey was not linear, nor was it without its setbacks, but I learned to embrace vulnerability as a source of strength.
As my kids grew, so did my understanding of the profound connection between self-care and nurturing. Just as I tended to the needs of my little ones, I recognised the importance of extending the same care to myself.
Fourteen years ago, I embarked on a journey that I never could have foreseen. In the wake of loss and the anticipation of new life, I discovered the enduring power of self-care as a bridge between sorrow and joy, between the past and the future. My path has been one of resilience, growth and transformation, a testament to the strength of the human spirit and boundless potential that lies within us all. Through the highs and lows, the tears and laughter, I’ve come to understand that self-care is not just a choice – it is a lifeline that can lead us to a place of wholeness and healing.
Join me as we continue this journey, hand in hand, towards a brighter, more nurturing future.
